job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
Happy National Dog Day!
because nothing says christmas like your soulmate dying of radiation poisoning giving you one last goodbye through the glass while your knees crumple under the weight of your sorrow, the upcoming 2015 wrath of khan hallmark christmas ornament is a must have!
I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes
sexual education really needs to include hours of explaining how genitals actually work and showing pictures of how they can look and how there’s literally NO look that’s gross in any way. sexual education needs to bust myths that people actually think are true, for example that having a lot of sex makes a vagina “loose”. people should not be walking around thinking that shit like that is true when it’s the got dang year 2014.
SAY IT AINT SO
I WILL NOT GO
TURN THE LIGHTS OFF
CARRY ME HOME
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
what if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again
Some people are constructive with their evenings… I make a Doo family tree